C'mon. I know you have that story (or several) tucked away in your rusty vault. The story about the nightmare client that you still shake your head and mumble about from time to time. Well...here's a nice place to vent. You are not alone!

I'll start with a simple one that happened several years ago. As we all know, it's common practice in logo design to come up with several logos for the client to look at. Some of these are strong designs and there are usually a few that are so-so (in your mind). It seems a nice way to steer them to the "good" logos. But of course, this never works.

I had a few designs for a client and DID NOT include a "throw-away" logo. It was for a bakery expo*. Note: do not google it until I finish this story! Anyhow, I only had three very strong logos. The client said none of them looked "bakery enough".

Phone call:

Client: "Shouldn't it have an oven or something? How about showing dough being made, flour, and show the finished product?"

Me: "So...you want all of this incorporated into a logo?"

Client: "Yes. It's a bakery show."

Me: "I understand. That just seems like a lot going on."

Client: "Well, the ones you've done are really professional. We want people to just be able to look at it and say, 'Oh, bakery', without having to think about it."

(I go on to explain my logo designs. I'm hitting a brick wall.)

Client: "Yes. They're excellent, really. But, could you just do me a favor and try some of my ideas in a logo?"

Me: *rolling eyes* "Sure. I'll have something for you shortly."

I hang up. I am extremely pissed.
I'll show him how stupid this f*cking thing will look.
I open up MS Word. Paste a bunch of crappy clip-art in and pop it behind the text and save to pdf.

I email it and call him back.

Me: "Did you get the design?"

Client: "I LOVE IT! This is exactly what we want."

Me: *choking* "Um...ok...A few things about the logo."

Client: "Yes?"

Me: "Well. It's four color, and I don't have a suitable 1 or 2 color version that would look too good in my opinion. This would mean printing costs will always be higher when you are talking four color. It's going to limit what you can do with promo items, where the other logos will work well in any format."

Client: "No, no, no! This is what we want. The decision is made. Let's go to print."

...this story does NOT have a happy ending...as a matter of fact, they are still using it to this day.

Ha, lets see the logo Jasper!

I think you'll find that it sticks out all on it's own - TRUST ME.

It's like I took a dump on the internet and there it sits, stinking up the place. Sooooo funny if you think about it.

I guess I did kind of get him back for being an idiot. ha!

Yes, lovely, lovely. Work you can truly be proud of.

Isn't that always the way of it?

I was asked to design a brochure for a line of merchandise for the Law School at the college I worked at. I did the whole thing, oversaw the photography, wrote the copy, laid out the design and it was beautiful. Then, at the last minute, the director decided he didn't like the title I had put on it, (it was aperfectly fine head, believe me), and ordered me to use the head,

The (blank) University School of Law By Mail"

so that every one of the law school grads who got it I am sure figured it was correspondence law courses and threw it away.

Total sales were about $200.

I worked for a small video production company for 6 years. A man that started a basketball academy for kids wanted to create a commercial for television to let the community know that basketball camp was around the corner and let people know that it's time to sign up. He didn't want to pay any money, so my boss gave him to the intern. It was good experience for the intern, and the client got a free product. I thought the commercial was terrible, but the client loved it.

The next year, the man returns to build a new commercial. He can pay for this one, so I got to work with him this time. He brought me lots of video to include and a pretty well shot interview of a testimony from one of the camp kid's mom.

While piecing the clip together, the man told me not to include shots of some of the kids, because apparently some of these kids "Didn't deserve to be in the video".

He left after I got a good feel for what he wanted, and continued editing on it. If he liked what the intern did, he was going to absolutely love what I would come up with.

I found that I was short material by a few shots while creating the commercial, so I went through the tape and added a couple shots of the kids that "don't deserve to be in the video." I spent a bunch of time perfecting the commercial, and wasn't even going to charge him for all my time. I just felt good for doing a project for a good cause, something that involves kids and activity.

The client returns, and I show him the commercial I made. I couldn't wait to see how much he loved it. After the commercial ended, he said it was terrible. He didn't want some of those kids in the video. He was overly upset about a couple of shots, so he hated the entire thing. I said "Okay. I'll change it." I thought I was being polite, and turned to the computer and went to plan B, which was replace the shots of those undeserving kids with some still photos.

Now I was trying to do this as quick as I could with him in the room, so I'm flying through the program, pressing buttons, and didn't say anything, I was too busy to talk.

The man stood up and walked out of the room. I could hear him telling my boss that he was uncomfortable working with me because I was disgruntled and looked like I was going to physically harm him. He then left.

What the hell? I guess my bedside manor is worse than I thought. I really should have narrated my actions on the computer so he understood that I was making changes to the video. He took my silence as an indication of being angry at him.

I thought all that time I spent on the commercial was a waste. The man didn't want to pay for the editing. He must of later worked something out with my boss, because I saw it aired. And I just saw it aired several times locally during the winter olympics this year (and I created this about 4 years ago).

I was upset about this editing job. Right after that I had another bad experience involving a client and "committee approval" After countless stupid and massive changes from the committee because everybody has an opinion and can't settle one idea, I burned out. I later quit my job. Too many people not liking my hard work and effort in consecutive jobs.

That's when I went to a less stressful job at Pepsi as a mere merchandiser. Sadly, it pays more money. (Sad because I went to school for video production, and the Pepsi job doesn't need a college degree, yet pays better)

Is this it?

haha! that fits the description pretty well...

I think I posted this here a few years ago:

http://clientcopia.com/

YES!! Clientopia, that's it.

Thank you Sagemoose.

ya think?

The Logo Mantra:-

"If your client hums and sighs, make his logo TWICE the size.

If he still proves refractory then add a picture of his Factory.

But one thing you should never, never aughter.

Is include that no,no picture of his daughter!"

BTDT!

Wiz

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

The oatmeal is fabulous

And, of course, the classic:

http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/

My last logo debacle is easy told -

I was asked to make a logo that states the guys name, his profession and looked professional. So I did.

Eventually, after a few tries, I got the message that he would not take any of my work. His girlfriend created something playfull and he went with that.

He must have forgotten that he canned my first tries for being too playfull and not serious enough..... Oh well. I billed him for my time and he payed.

So it ended well.