Well folks, it was bound to happen. How could we let this golden opportunity escape us without including the notorious Nancers? We couldn't. And it was unanimous. So let the fun begin!!



Well, what can you say about a woman who is admired, revered, and loved by everyone? I can start by saying she’s not the one we’re honoring here. Ah yes, the ever popular Nancers. She has the grace of a swan, the wisdom of an owl ... the eye of an eagle... folks, this woman is for the birds!

Nancers, the woman who revolutionized the cupcake industry with one single solitary post.



Nancers, the indisputable queen of manass!



But seriously folks, Nancers is a wonderful woman. Nancers told me once that she was afraid if she left PSC she wouldn't be remembered. Hell, I can think of a

lot of reasons she'd be remembeed. She won't like any of them, but I can think of 'em.

I remember the time when Nancers decided to try out vegitarianism. I knew it wouldn't last--she's too full of baloney!

Well, since my alter ego has started this for me, I guess I should go next.

Let's see.....what can I say about nancers that hasn't already been said in smoky bars and dirty bathroom stalls in truckstops around the nation? Nancers is a wonderful lady, but sometimes there are bubbles in her think tank.

Nancers has a body by Victoria....


And brains by Matell!



Nancers....she's got a titanic intellect--in a world full of icebergs. I mean, just look at this:

Now I can't be too harsh on Nancers for her methodologies in rooting for her ( ) favorite sports team.....when she was a baby her parents would give her a pot roast to hold so the family dog would play with her.

*Oh my, a roast of nancers? This is going to be sort of like everyday talk isn't it?

Before I talk about our guest of honor, I'd like to introduce several people who admire and revere her. But since there's no one here like that, I'll just go ahead and talk about her. No seriously, We received a number of congratulatory telegrams for this event from people congratulating themselves for not being here. One thing for certain, there's no middle ground with nancers, you either hate her or detest her. Comes naturally though, has something to do with her looks I think. Talk about an ugly child. This kid was ugly with a capital Ugh. She was once kidnapped and forced at gunpoint to have her nose fixed. She's always been mature. As a child her favorite Popsicle flavor was merlot. You know, I didn't realize just how long nancers had been with the site until we were snooping through her desk and found a stage coach ticket. Just remember nancers, you're a year older, but you'll never be over the hill, not in the car you drive. Hey, what do you expect from a girl who was born in an Edsel? I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying. I'd like to close by saying something nice about her. She is the original good time that was had by all.

And now to introduce our celebrety roasters, here's our master of ceremonies, Dean Martin:



Our next speaker could have been telling his jokes on fark.com, tonight, but he chose to tell them here in PSC because of his high regard for the people of fark.com.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome,


DON RICKLES!!

I swear, nancers is such a hocky puck. She doesn't put on airs. After all the holiday eating, she has enough trouble just putting on her pants. She's always been a swinger. Instead of an umbilical cord, she was born with a bungee cord. Calling her stupid would be an insult to stupid people everywhere. I wanted to go to a costume party last Halloween with her so I called her up and said, "Let's go as a horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself." She's such a windbag. One night she sneezed and blew her husband right out of bed! And trendy? If Calvin Klein made aluminum pantyhose, she'd wear 'em. She probably wouldn't worry about what people think of her if she knew how seldom they do. But in closing I'd like to say there's nothing wrong with nancers that reincarnation wouldn't cure.

Ooooohhhhhkay, that was just great Don, thank you.


And now a guest who needs no introduction. She needs a lot of things but an introduction isn't one of them, Phyllis Diller:

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Nancers is not the kind of employee who takes work home with her. How can she? Her co-workers do all the work.

AAAAHAHAHAH . . . .


She's the only woman I know who can curl spaghetti around her fork just by glaring at it. Fang can do it, but I'm married to him.

With most people, the left side of your brain does some things, and the right side does others. In nancers' case, however, neither side seems to do a whole lot. She's the only woman I know who owns a mink coat with a picture of Brad Pitt on it.

HAAHAAHAA . . . .

And boring? Her all-time favorite TV show is "Bowling for Fertilizer." When you want to talk about cheap, talk nancers. She had "Mom" tattooed on her belly instead of her chest so she wouldn't have to pay for the "O." I'm so miserable without her it's almost like having her here. Seriously, I hate nancers, she's the kind of person that make me pro-nuclear.

SHUT UP!!!!

You guys suck.

You know, I once went to visit nancers in Pennsyltucky. We rented a couple of beat up old bicycles and spent the afternoon riding around. We took a detour down a bumpy old road...Nancers said to me. "You know, I've never come this way before." I said, "It's the cobblestones."

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AAAAHAHAHAH . . . .

Oh, Nancers? I've got the perfect website for you!

Incidentally, the Humane Society called. They said something about, oh, a blender, some electrodes, and some other junk like that. I thought you might want to rinse out a few things, before they drop by.

Ah, but I kid. To make it up to you, I've found some new message board smileys, in your honor:

LOL @ Cynn. Hey Cynn, got any with a decapitated Kitty? (Hello Kitty, that is).

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AH-HAHA-HAHA-HAH-HAH . . . . .

Did you know that nancers and I go to the same hair stylist? I liked hers so much I made her tell me who she used so I could get mine done exactly the same way.

AH-HAHA-HAHA-HAH-HAH . . . . .

I dont wanna say Nancers is old, but, when Kaboom caled her a C**T she was able to tell him the story of how she was the very first woman to be called that and why.