Okay, and I had to go dig this one up. Last summer I got this:
Dear Tiffany,
I am Barrister benard hassan, a solicitor at law,
personal attorney to Mr C.B.Widman,a national Of
your country,who used to work with Shell Development
Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred
to as my client. On the 21st of April 2001, my client,
his wife and their only daughter were involved in a
car accident along Nouvissi express Road.
All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their
lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to
your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended
relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After
these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track
his last name over the Internet, to locate any member
of his family hence I contacted you.
I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the
fund valued at US$10.5( Ten Million Five Thousand US
Dollars) million left behind by my client before it
gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the
Security Finance Firm where this amount was deposited.
The said Security Finance Firm has issued me a notice
to provide the next of kin or have his account
confiscated within the next twenty one official
working days.
Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the
relatives for almost two years now, I seek the consent
to present you as the next of kin to the deceased
since you have the same last names, so that the
proceeds of this account can be paid to you.Therefore,
on receipt of your positive response, we shall then
discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.
I have all necessary information and legal documents
needed to back you up for claim. All I require from
you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this
transaction through. I guarantee that this will be
executed under legitimate arrangement that will
protect you from any breach of the law. Get back to
me at my private email address at for confidentiality reason.email
barr_bhassan03@yahoo.ca
Best Rigards,
barr benard hassan,ESQ.
So I sent this back:
Dear Mister Hassan,
My goodness! I had NO IDEA that Mister CB Widman ever existed! I was so excited to get your email, I called my mother in Florida right away. She says that the illustrious CB might have been the product of one of her uncles' many marriages!!! He (My Great-Uncle Morty) was a travelling salesman for Kodak back in the 60s and 70s, and according to Mom, he had somewhere between SIX AND EIGHT MARRIAGES over about 15 years! And, not to be indiscreet, it is said that he was a 'fertile turtle,' if you get my meaning. His guys were good swimmers, in other words. So I guess that makes CB one of my long-lost relatives!!!
It's really sad to hear about the car crash. I feel so sorry for him, and for his family. I also feel real regret that I never got to meet this great man. This is a delicate question, but was it a very firey crash? I imagine that I will have to take a DNA test to prove he's my kin, and I hope that enough of his corpse survived to test. I don't have a lot of blood to spare, ha ha, but I am happy to send a sample for you. Do you think I should freeze it first? I can send it overnight, that's no problem. Just send me your address, or the address of a reputable laboratory in your area. How much blood do you think they will need? Please tell me using English measure, like teaspoon, quart, gallon. I have never been very clear about this so-called "metric system."
When do I get the money? Is there a way that I could have it wired directly to my bank here in America? Or do I have to go to Lome-Togo to collect it? Will it be in US dollars, or will I have to pay a trasfer fee? Will there be taxes on this money? And what is your cut? I would assume it is something like 30 percent. You should come to America--lawyers here get more like fifty percent, and no one ever blinks an eye!
I hope you do not find it rude that I am asking so many questions about the money. I am also very interested to learn about you! Do you have a family? Do you follow any sports? Do you have a hobby? In America, we ask, "What's your sign, baby?" But that may be too personal a question for our first correspondence. What color eyes do you have?
Well! I am very excited to do whatever it takes to make this transfer happen. In America we also say, "The buck stops here." This means that the money stops at my bank account! But you're a lawyer, so you know all about that, am I right? Just joshin' ya there. That means I am kidding.
If you are ever planning to be in the New York City area, please let me know! I belong to several very entertaining clubs, and will show you around town, if you know what I mean.
Yours expectantly,
Sister Tiffany Widman
Never heard back.