HAPPY BD, Paula...here's food for thought by Andy Rooney

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40
doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She
does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women
over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the
opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve
it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with
it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have
to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are
forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you
are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say,
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for
you. Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

HAPPY BD, Paula...here's food for thought by Andy Rooney

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40
doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She
does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women
over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the
opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve
it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with
it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have
to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two,
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are
forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you
are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's
not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say,
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for
you. Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Okay - I'm the LAST one to say HAPPY Barfday to ya... But to show I'm not SUCH a bad guy here's some $$$ to go buy yourself a latte to go with that piece of cake.



(Oh - and speaking of piece of cake: I got MINE! )