or anything else!
I see where you got your name.

wanna know how they get the caramel in Caramilk?

I'm just happy I know how to get the caramel OUT of a Caramilk!


(hey - where the hell you been, MooseBoy???)

Hey MooseMod! well, between my mid-life crisis and trying to save the world, I've kinda been busy...

My dad worked in Saudi Arabia and one day there was a massive ant on his desk. He hit it with something, squashing it's body and making it's head come off. The head stayed alive for 5 days. He says when he got to work, the first thing he would do was test the ants head by pushing a piece of paper in it's face and the thing would try to nip it!!!

I don't kill anything. I do the Reinman technique with the glass and a piece of card.

ExACTLY!!!

Not to put to fine a point to it............... how long did you make that poor head suffer? And did you feed it water while you made it suffer?

Anfa, that's the most insightful bit of information we've ever received from you. Thanks!

This afternoon I discovered a brown recluse hiding in my kitchen pantry. My previously-mentioned technique worked fairly well; it went up in a ball of smoke and flame, and was no more. There also happened to be an infestation of weevils in my box that I use to store various bags of beans. The fire technique did not work so well since they were very small and there were many of them. Notice that I referred to the weevils in past tense. That means that I chose an alternative method of eradication. This secondary technique involved a special cylindrical aerosol can labeled RAID. Many weevils perished today. I imagine they are enjoying themselves in weevil heaven, possibly with their pre-afterlife companion, Mr. B. Recluse. Or perhaps they were enemies, Mr. Recluse preying mercilessly on the much smaller and weaker weevils during their short and insignificant lives. Maybe Mr. Recluse left this mortal world via incineration, only to find himself destined to burn eternally in spider purgatory. I hope that the weevils I sent to their unexpected deaths can find it in themselves to forgive me of my treacherous use of poisonous fumes against them. I am sure that their deaths were extremely painful and drawn out; I am sure of this because I sat there and watched them try and try to escape the puddles of noxious liquid that they were slowly asphyxiating in. I had to wipe up their little weevil corpses and throw them all away. I suppose I could have been kinder and transplanted the weevils somewhere else, but they were just so small and numerous. Plus, they ruined my beans, so I don't feel too much remorse over their massacre. My loss of my hoard of beans is costly and possibly irreplaceable, at least until my next trip to the grocery store.

you can make this into a book

BRILLIANT!


(I mean, that is one SAD story if you are a weevil or a toxic deadly spider, but WELL & COLOURFULLY TOLD! )

Reinier is the only person here I have ever seen quote himself.


I am shocked
taken aback
jolted
surprised
astonished
flabbergasted
gobsmacked







er, did I mention surprised?

Al are you perplexed?

Sorry, Alan, I'm just so DAMN quotable!