Tawiskaro had me in stitches!
I have to agree that which form of infant transportation is "the best" does depend on the child. My daughter was BORN fiercely independent, coming 7.5 weeks early! Joke about that as we may, she would have NOTHING to do with the slings. We tried, off and on, for the first few months, to use any of our three different carriers. Extra cushion, no cushion, front-wearing, back-, or side-, my daughter consistently squirmed uncomfortably and screamed every time she was in one. We got advice and assistance to make sure we were "doing it right." Nothing made her happy until she got removed from the carrier.
Oh, she liked being held and carried well enough, but guess what? She always twisted herself around so she could face OUT. The only carrier that did wind up working was one of those store-bought ones where she could sit facing out and her free legs could kick into my tummy. For the most part, we wound up using a stroller. (I liked our stroller, particularly the cup holder.
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I still have our baby carriers, and when we're blessed with another baby, we'll try them again.