Photoshop Contest Forum Index - Fun and Games - Heard any good jokes lately? - Reply to topic
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Lrossa
Location: the sunny side of NY
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 Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:43 am Reply with quote
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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sage
Location: Hudson, Canada
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Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:14 pm Reply with quote
I can actually hear Cheech saying that!
_________________ "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." John Lennon
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TofuTheGreat
Location: Back where I belong.
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Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:02 pm Reply with quote
EJH wrote: George Bush is sitting in the Oval office reading the newspaper.
Cheney notices him, notices how unusual it is for him to be reading the paper,
and sees that he is reading the headlines, one in particular.
It reads "12 Brazilian students killed."
George looks really sad and looks over to Dick and asks: "How many is a brazilian?"
I'm a republican and that's friggin funny!
_________________ Why I do believe it's pants-less o'clock! - Lar deSouza
”The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa
Created using photoshop and absolutely no talent. - reyrey
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TofuTheGreat
Location: Back where I belong.
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Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:58 am Reply with quote
Since there are no other jokes coming in:
Quote: A woman came into a bar with pet carrier that held a chicken. "My chicken is stronger than any man in this bar and probably any on earth!" exclaimed the woman. Naturally every man in the bar disagreed and the woman said she'd bet $500 that the chicken could do something that a man couldn't. A big, burly, guy took the bet for $500. The money was produced and the the bet was on.
The woman put the chicken on the bar and placed a small pebble in front of the bird. On command the chicken picked the rock up and swallowed it. The woman placed another pebble on the bar.
"You gotta be kidding me!" laughed the man. "Easy money!"
"Not so fast." replied the woman "Let's see you pick it up with your pecker."
ba-dump-bump-teesh
_________________ Why I do believe it's pants-less o'clock! - Lar deSouza
”The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa
Created using photoshop and absolutely no talent. - reyrey
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cafn8d
Location: Massachusetts
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Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:01 pm Reply with quote
Since Leif is too shy to post in the forums (  ), I thought I'd be "nice" and share the joke he shared in Chat:
Quote: leif 09/28 @ 12:08 pm
worth the read
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cafn8d
Location: Massachusetts
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Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:59 pm Reply with quote
patim wrote:
Hey, I'm a woman, and even I found it humorous. Then again, I am easily amused...
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TofuTheGreat
Location: Back where I belong.
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Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:13 pm Reply with quote
cafn8d wrote: Hey, I'm a woman, and even I found it humorous. Then again, I am easily amused...
That's the caffeine talking! (says the guy who downs 3 Diet Dr. Peppers before 11:00 am).
_________________ Why I do believe it's pants-less o'clock! - Lar deSouza
”The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa
Created using photoshop and absolutely no talent. - reyrey
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cafn8d
Location: Massachusetts
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Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:22 am Reply with quote
Punchline: "Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either"
That's what makes this so funny to me. He outsmarted himself and SHE got the last laugh! HA!
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TofuTheGreat
Location: Back where I belong.
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Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:59 am Reply with quote
cafn8d wrote: Punchline: "Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either"
That's what makes this so funny to me. He outsmarted himself and SHE got the last laugh! HA!
See from the guy's viewpoint he knew that he wasn't gonna get any after pulling that stunt. He's thumbing his nose to her so he's actually getting the last laugh (again from a guy's view).
_________________ Why I do believe it's pants-less o'clock! - Lar deSouza
”The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa
Created using photoshop and absolutely no talent. - reyrey
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Bic9000
Location: U.K.
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Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:37 pm Reply with quote
What's the difference between a HORMONE and a VITAMIN?
I've never heard a VITA-MIN
(but I have heard a HOR-MONE)
_________________
I know I'm God 'cos every time I pray, I feel like I'm just talking to myself!
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missrobin74
Location: Virginia
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Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:23 pm Reply with quote
hahaha... good jokes you guys.
Two blondes are sitting in StarBucks
One looks at the newspaper and sees the headline,
"12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed In Conflict".
She then looks to the other blonde and asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
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TofuTheGreat
Location: Back where I belong.
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Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:07 am Reply with quote
Bic9000 wrote: What's the difference between a HORMONE and a VITAMIN?
I've never heard a VITA-MIN
(but I have heard a HOR-MONE)
Reminds me of a joke from college:
Quote: A bio-chem professor was giving a Monday lecture/lesson on the chemistry of the human body. The professor expounded on the wonders of everything from growth to digestion and how each process was ultimately controlled by the chemistry going on inside of us all.
"Tell me, anyone, do any of you know what it takes to make a hormone?" asked the prof.
A voice in the back replied "9 inches and about 15 minutes if Saturday was any indication!"
_________________ Why I do believe it's pants-less o'clock! - Lar deSouza
”The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” - Frank Zappa
Created using photoshop and absolutely no talent. - reyrey
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Fri Sep 30, 2005 1:49 pm Reply with quote
Bic9000 wrote: What's the difference between a HORMONE and a VITAMIN?
I've never heard a VITA-MIN
(but I have heard a HOR-MONE)
explain
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Showcase
Location: A little town on the edge of Sanity
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Tue Oct 04, 2005 9:42 am Reply with quote
Before proceeding, Age Verification is required...
Please blink twice to verify you are at least 18 years of age...or that your parents dont know you frequent this site.
The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah my
wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees. She floats 6
inches above a da bed in ecstacy."
The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting. When Ah've finished making ze
love with ze wife, ah kiss all ze way down her body...and zen ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."
The redneck says, "That aint nothing. When I've finished porkin' the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling.
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Photoshop Contest Forum Index - Fun and Games - Heard any good jokes lately? - Reply to topic
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