i used to be like u,betwwen 18 to 22 may be, and i miss this period, great time, sure to be a sort of cool guy acting like a provocating rat (?) then, a woman changed my way of expressing myself, this thing called love i think, changed my way of exteriorizing things but inside i was the same, a good boy, a bit stupid.
because i really think you are a good guy and u play very well this drama u feel like to have to be in.
Well, while i remember, several things make me change apart from the woman i told u about, like to know once,a bit more who i was through the knowledge of what i had to do to earn "respect", and in fact this thing i had to do was to paint.
The balance between too much self-confidence and fear to be discovered as a simple human being (we feel all like this at 20yo with this idea that adult world is full of sh@@, which is pretty true by the way). But it's just a question of role, we just are characters and HAVE TO find our own way to play.
Finally i thinkthat to know that theres 6 billions people on planet Earth, i mean really thi,nk about it is a way to come back to real life, to know that thay are people that u never met, that is alw<ays better than u (of course it doesn't work if u keep thinking ur The One). Think yet that PSC is a mini planet ok ? But i remember too that comments like "best of show","best artsy work in this site" are yet incredible to hear, and those comments don't put u on a pedestal (is it english?),they are good and in the mean time, pretty objective. Objectivism for u to learn. So STFUAC but go check the real life too, it could be useful. If u are an artist, u have the luck of enjoying really wht u do without needing commenting,provocating and stuffs, if not u will always be in this circle u just are, not because ur not an artist but because MAYBE u have abilities to do great things but in the mean time ur still in teenage febrility that i talked before. So lots of hope for u. I know a bunch of artists that were asses at 20 (well some still are)as i said and those people are slower to devlopp adult abilities.
(Sorry for my english people i just wake up).
SO its just a question of time.
Just a note: when i talked about artists i talked about artists of life -players in the Big game- no need to have a pencil in the hand to fit my feinition here.
Later...; and no i don't thk u should take another name, be brave and if u change, the name won't have any importance.
Have a nice day. 
