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Photoshop Contest Forum Index - Featured Pic - Mandrill mayhem - Reply to topic

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blue_lurker

Location: Australia

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:27 am   Reply with quote         


Ok been out of action for a while, decided to get back into the swing of things, and just got one question.


WHATS WITH ALL THE MANDRILLS

Thank you




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ScionShade

Location: VeniceFlaUS

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:29 am   Reply with quote         


Scavenger hunt Razz




ScionShade

Location: VeniceFlaUS

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:30 am   Reply with quote         


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Q. How many mandrills does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Three. One to scream, one to have a big blue butt, and one to throw his poo at everybody. (HINT: The funny part is that the lightbulb doesn't even get screwed in! HAW HAW!)


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h r taffs walked into a bar, where he saw e.e. cummings, bell hooks, and john q. sensitive. They all beat him up and threw him out into the street to die. There, his body was gnawed upon by mandrills.
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An English mandrill, a Jewish mandrill, ex-President of the United States Richard Nixon and a Canadian mandrill are flying in an airplane when the intercom comes on. "This is your pilot," says the pilot. "We've had a big engine accident and the plane is going to crash. There are only two parachutes on the plane, and I'm taking off. Fuck you all." And then they can all see him eject, flipping them the bird.

Richard Nixon says, "We have to decide who gets the last parachute." Then he realizes that they are all just mandrills, so he takes it and leaves.

Then the English mandrill and the Jewish mandrill beat up the Canadian mandrill real bad.


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Here is a humorous mandrill apple juice song!




THE SAFETY DANCE FOR MANDRILLS
(Sung to the tune of "Safety Dance" by Canadian superstars Men
Without Hats)

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
(I say) We can go where we want to,
There's a place they'll never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
and we can dance. Like mandrills.

Ah we can go when we want to, the night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
and surprise 'em with the mandrill cry
(I say) We can act if want to, if we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and throw all your poo
And I can have a big blue butt

I say, we can dance, we can dance everything's out control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it pole to pole like mandrills.
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your apple juice
We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance for mandrills... [repeat]

We can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right for the mandrills
I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine

I say, we can dance, we can dance the mandrills are out of control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it pole to pole
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance h r taffs is takin' the chance
Oh Well the safety dance for mandrills... [repeat]





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A mandrill goes to see his doctor, who is also a mandrill. The doctor mandrill says, "I have good news and I have bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The other mandrill, the one who's not a doctor, just a mandrill, says, "Tell me the good news first."

"The good news is that you are a mandrill," says the doctor. Then they both scream and throw their poo around a lot for a while, kinda to celebrate and like that.

After a while, the other mandrill (non-doctor mandrill again) says, "Well, then, what is the bad news?"

The doctor mandrill says, "You have a big blue butt."

And the first mandrill says, "So do you!"


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A priest, a rabbi, ex-President of the United States Richard Nixon and a mandrill are playing golf. The rabbi's not playing so good, so the priest thinks maybe he can take him for a little cash.

"Rabbi, let's make this game a little more interesting," says the priest. "For each point above par I make, I will give you five dollars. For each point below par, you give *ME* five dollars. But if we BOTH go below par, then you give me a BLOW JOB."

The rabbi looks at the priest like he's crazy. He's totally flabbergasted. Finally he asks, "You want to make the game more INTERESTING? What's the MATTER with you? We're playing fucking GOLF with ex-President RICHARD NIXON and a MANDRILL, man!"

Then they both look over at the mandrill, who's jumping up and down on his golf bag and screaming and throwing poo at Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon is, like, waving his hands in the air and yelling, "Help! Help!" and running around in circles trying not to get hit by mandrill poo.

"OK, I guess you're right," says the priest. "But I sure could use a blow job."




arcaico

Location: Brazil

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:42 am   Reply with quote         


I knew someone would ask "what's up with the mandrills?" lol

maybe this can explain...

2. 10 Points – Iron Chef Contest. Based on the popular TV show (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_ic) At least 2 members of your team must post in Sunday’s contest. In your submitted picture(s) include an image of a mandrill. Understanding the sensitive nature of VPP’s, you may create aliases to post if you like, but notify Nancers at nancers1@mac.com in advance of who your aliases are.




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TheShaman wrote:
fine fine! I'm an idiot!

blue_lurker

Location: Australia

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:45 am   Reply with quote         


That will teach me to come back during a Scavenger hunt.
But why Mandrills?




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Cynn

Location: California Choppin'

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 11:00 am   Reply with quote         


Some of us took it up a notch and did chops of both Iron Chef and Mandrills. Mr. Green





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Len

Location: Robinson IL

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:12 pm   Reply with quote         


Seriously does anybody know why this is a running gag for four today.
just coincidence, or what.




Patre

Location: Glendale, Az.

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:15 pm   Reply with quote         


Len, One of the requirements for the Scavenger hunt contest is that today's post include a Mandrill(type of monkey). You can look under the forum thread post titled "Scavenger Hunt 3" to learn more about the contest format and rules.




Cynn

Location: California Choppin'

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:30 pm   Reply with quote         


I love this! I am laughing so much over all the various Mandrills.

You guys are all so clever!




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arcaico

Location: Brazil

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:42 pm   Reply with quote         


I'm frustrated... seems my joke in my post is not funny... maybe it's not really funny... but why??? How many ostrichs lose a bet to a mandrill???




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TheShaman wrote:
fine fine! I'm an idiot!

Len

Location: Robinson IL

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:53 pm   Reply with quote         


I'm on my way to join a party. Now that I know I'll be right there with you.




Cynn

Location: California Choppin'

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:57 pm   Reply with quote         


Don't feel bad, Arcaico. Maybe we just don't get it.
Argh




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arcaico

Location: Brazil

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:09 pm   Reply with quote         


Cynn wrote:
Don't feel bad, Arcaico. Maybe we just don't get it.
Argh


It's like this... the ostrich bet 50 bucks the mandrill couldn't stick his head under the ground, like ostrichs use to do... the mandrill proved him wrong... I mean... how many mandrills sticking their heads under the ground have ya seen? Wink




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TheShaman wrote:
fine fine! I'm an idiot!

Cynn

Location: California Choppin'

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:12 pm   Reply with quote         


Doh!

Got it!




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Len

Location: Robinson IL

Post Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:48 pm   Reply with quote         


I fixed both of my posts now we'll see what happens.




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Photoshop Contest Forum Index - Featured Pic - Mandrill mayhem - Reply to topic

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