hvbeta wrote:
I had a very traumatic experience when I was little:
I remember it vividly. The day after I was born, I tried to bum a cigarette from one of the other kids in maternity and they all said, "Goo". I wasn't really sure what that meant, so I tried the nurse and she swatted me on the back so hard I caughed up half my lunch mixed with some sort of odd gas.
While she was busy, I snuck one out of her purse while she wasn't looking and I thought I was golden. But then I realized I didn't have a light and she was gone. So I went from bin to bin and got nothing but blank faces. A smoker on the outside looking in.
I was desperate and wanted nothing more than a breath of fresh air. I remember thinking, "if this is how life is going to be, I want out!"
Then, the doctor came in. Apparently there was a supply check and they had discovered the missing cigarette. I hid it under the bin and laid there trying to act casual. But he knew it was me and even though he couldn't find the cigarette, he inked my foot and made an impression on a card. Bastard.
Finally, I grabbed him by the collar and screamed, "give me a light, you prick!" He put me back in the crib and gave me a little metallic rattle, then left the room. I grabbed the cigarette and held it while I slammed the rattle into a metal bar. It sparked and lit my cigarette.
And I was happy.
Your nuts!! But I like the story
