I wrote this just for you guys. It scared the shit out of me, personally. That evil lard got what he deserved, if you ask me!
The big fat lard entered the donut shop. Bobby knew he was doomed. He had slain many a bucket of lard over his lifetime, and he knew now that justice was about to be brought upon him. The lard approached slowly, gliding along the dirty, grimy donut shop floor, a giant smear of fatty residue left wherever the monstrosity had touched. Bobby backed towards the corner behind him, slowly reaching for his spatula. This spatula had been through times both high and low with Bobby, and it was his pride and joy. He had inherited the spatula from his father, and his father before him. Now was the time to truly discover just how valuable this essential utensil could be. The lard drew closer. Bobby could now smell the greasy stench of rotten fat. The giant beast opened its lardy mouth, and a fat tongue rolled out. A wave of reeking odor washed over Bobby. He nearly passed out, but he quickly covered his nose and mouth with a sheet of wax paper. The lard finally reached Bobby. He started to smack the slimy white creature with his spatula, but it was no use. Each blow simply flung gooey globs of lard against the walls, and where there appeared to be a wound on the beast, more fat simply filled its place.
The end is near, Bobby thought.
There is nothing I can do, unless...of course! He quickly reached for a bucket of raw donut dough. This scrumptious delicacy was irresistable to the lard , Bobby knew, and he swiftly flung the batter into the fryer. The lard immediately leaped after the dough, and in doing so, leaped to its doom. A blood curdling hiss filled the air, and the stench of Crisco filled the air. Bobby hurriedly brought more dough from the pantry.
There is going to be a lot of donuts today! I better hurry and get this batch finished. he thought.
THE END
