Eve wrote:
My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Marty.
I'm certain she was a lovely woman. If it's not too painful, would you share something about her with us?
Due to Rheumatic fever as a child my wife had a damaged Mitra valve in her heart. When i met her back in '81 she had already had 2 open heart surgeries. Yet her concern was always helping other people. I guess one of the many things that made me fall for her. People laugh when we tell them we went on 1 date and have been together ever since. It was just meant to be!
But she had a total of 5 open heart surgeries over her 51 yrs. Along with that was 2 strokes due to the same surgeries, then throw in Osteoporosis in her lower back which cost her 3 inches in height and excruciating pain. Then there was unknown reason for her loss of potassium in her bloodstream. But she would spend 8hrs in outpatient treatment 2 times a week. But when they told her she needed to start thinking about what she would do as it got worse. She thought long and hard and asked me as well for my input. But she chose to stop her treatments and die at home. Hospice is a wonderful service here in So. Cal. They brought in a hospital bed and set her up with the meds she needed to take to deal with the pain. Then the clock started. It took six weeks as she wilted away before my eyes. But when she was awake her spirit was there. I told her each day how much i loved her. But also told her that I would take care of everything, so she didn't need to worry. Then early morning on Easter Sunday I woke in the fold out bed beside her hospital bed and checked her and she was gone.
Then went through all the chaos of paramedics and police and firemen. Just to show them her signed DNR form and they called it in as such. Then left her and I in the empty house and told me to call the undertaker to pick her up.
I did and called a pair of friends to be there with me through that part.
I'm not mad that she's left. I am relieved for her suffering being over. But I had taken care of her for so long I miss her presence. I need to get used to it being me and not us. To worry only about what i need to do and if I'm up to it.
It'll take awhile to get through. But I will never be the same.
So there is the story.